Randy Pryor spent 40 years as a comedy magician and juggler before becoming a workaholic and control freak that cost him his 14-year marriage. After his divorce, he joined a church support group for separated men and has spent the last 15 years helping roughly 1,500 guys navigate separation, impending divorce, and rocky marriages. He walks through his SOS Reconnect framework — Stop pushing her away, Open communication, and Surround yourself with godly men — and argues that men default to "fix it" mode when their wives actually need reconnection first. The centerpiece is a low-pressure "reconnecting" text method he stumbled onto with his own kids at Disneyland, plus a practical weekly "family business meeting" for couples who aren't yet in crisis. His core message: don't wait until it's too late, stop talking and start showing, and remember this is legacy work your kids will inherit.
Randy's most common client comment is "I knew it was bad, but I didn't think it was that bad." A rocky marriage rarely feels like a crisis to the husband, even when the wife has already checked out.
Men see "something's broken, let's fix it" as a two-step process. For women it's three steps — something's broken, let's reconnect, then we can work on it. Skipping the reconnection step pushes her further away.
Words, promises, and "let's go to counseling" mean nothing when she's heard them before. Change your goal from "win my wife back" to "become the best version of me" — that's the part you actually control.
Send something specific and personal to the other person (an article, photo, meme), say nothing more than "check this out," expect no reply, and control the frequency. It's a gift, not a transaction — and it works with kids, friends, and coworkers too.
Five to ten minutes once a week: start with the highlight, then the low light. It gives your spouse a safe, calm place to surface issues so you're not peppering the whole week with tension.
You'd hire a golf pro or a business consultant without shame; relationships deserve the same. Real support groups aren't the awkward "pass the talking stick" cliché — they're the modern version of men strategizing and sharing around a campfire.
Change your goal to, I want to become the best version of me that I can become. That's in your control. Making her happy is not in your control.
Schedule a recurring weekly "family business meeting" (pick a set time — Friday night or Sunday afternoon). Start with each person's highlight of the week, then the low light. Keep it 5–10 minutes.
When your spouse names a need ("more help with the kids"), ask them to spell out specifically what that looks like, and write it down on a physical notepad — never your phone.
Build a top-10 list of things your wife is into that have nothing to do with you (gardening, a hobby, a topic). Use it as source material for reconnecting texts.
Send one reconnecting text per day to a different person — wife, kid, coworker, boss, friend — using only "check this out" or "look what I found," with zero expectation of a reply.
Swap "we need to talk" for a lean-in invitation: "Can I run something by you?" or "Can I get your feedback on something?"
Practical skills, real stories, and one thing to actually do this week with your family. Written by a dad in the trenches, not a marketing department.
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