Zach reconnects with Luke LeFevre — former colleague, longtime creative leader at Ramsey Solutions, husband of 23 years, dad of four (ages 10 to 17) — who left Ramsey a year and a half ago to build Holy Work, a coaching practice around following where God is pulling you. Luke is honest about his starting point: he was the high schooler who didn't want kids, a dog, or even a plant, and fatherhood taught him it's not all about him. The episode runs on two tracks. Track one is intentional fatherhood: the 10th-birthday tradition he invented the night before his daughter turned ten — a grown-up Bible, a hilltop in Spring Hill, Chick-fil-A — that his kids now demand for themselves, plus the "boy must die" initiation story from King, Warrior, Magician, Lover and the question of how we usher kids into adulthood instead of just turning them loose at 18. Track two is Luke's seven-stage framework, discovered when 60,000 words of scattered writing sorted themselves into piles at a coffee shop: the pull, the proof, the practices, the war, the wilderness, the threshold, the purpose. The most practical stretch is his journaling method — one minute of silence, then five-plus minutes of unfiltered writing through the "epidermis layer" of surface worries until the real stuff surfaces. And the whole thing gets stress-tested by real life: four months after Luke left his job, his wife was diagnosed with breast cancer — the war showing up right on schedule, and the reminder that some seasons your most holy work is simply being home.
Luke builds a whole ministry around calling — and his wife keeps reminding him the biggest calling is already in the house. Canceling meetings to go sledding on one of Tennessee's rare snow days is the framework in action, not a break from it.
The "pull" usually doesn't arrive as a clear vision. It shows up as being unsettled. Undiscerned, it leads to Amazon carts, escapes, and worse; examined, it's God trying to wake you up.
The 10th-birthday Bible ceremony was a panicked last-minute idea. His younger son claimed it before his own tenth birthday ("when I turn 10, I get my Bible"). Your kids are watching everything; consistency is what turns an improvised gesture into an initiation rite.
The "boy must die" story from King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: without deliberate rites of passage, men hit their 30s still wondering if they have what it takes. Plan the moments that mark the transition.
One minute of silence, phone in another room, then write nonstop without judging spelling or grammar. Minutes one through five clear the surface worries (the "epidermis layer"); what surfaces after that is the stuff you didn't know was there. Layers: epidermis, muscle, heart, bone.
Expect the war — resistance, fear, "who do you think you are." Four months after Luke bet on his calling, his wife's cancer diagnosis made everything feel doubtable. The move isn't to crumble or reverse the decision; it's "we expected this — keep going."
How can you be a thought leader if you never give yourself any time to think?
Run Luke's journaling drill tomorrow morning: phone in another room, one minute of silence, then five minutes of nonstop unfiltered writing. Don't lift the pen; don't judge grammar. Note what surfaces after minute five.
Invent one initiation tradition for your kids' next milestone birthday — a place, a gift with weight, a few words about what changes now. It can be planned the night before; just commit to repeating it for every kid.
Name your pull: write down the one restless idea that keeps coming back, then apply the discernment test — is this from God, or is it an escape?
Pre-write your war list: the three forms of resistance most likely to hit when you start (a kid gets sick, a voice says "who do you think you are," money fear). Deciding now that you expected them removes their veto power.
Take the next rare-window day (snow day, surprise day off) and cancel something. Sledding counts as holy work.
Practical skills, real stories, and one thing to actually do this week with your family. Written by a dad in the trenches, not a marketing department.
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