Episode 011 · Fatherhood

Coaching, Perspective, and Knowing Each Kid as Their Own Person

Guest: Payton JunkinThe SkilledDad Podcast

About This Episode

Zach sits down with his friend Payton Junkin, a dad of three boys (third, second, and first grade) plus a son he's been adopting from Haiti for years, who works for an international development organization fighting extreme poverty. The conversation moves from juggling eight youth sports teams to a bigger truth: fatherhood doesn't end at 18, and the relationship keeps evolving for life. Payton shares hard-won, practical habits — telling your kids "I love to watch you play" no matter the outcome, the power of saying "I'm sorry," parenting each child as an individual, and pairing intentional words with intentional listening. A story about a Zimbabwean dad who just wanted to take his son for ice cream every Thursday anchors the episode's gut-check on gratitude and slowing down. It's an honest, encouraging episode for any dad who feels like he's not batting a thousand — because none of us are.

What You'll Take Away

01

Fatherhood doesn't stop at 18.

The investment in your kids is lifelong and ever-evolving; our generation can shift the narrative that parenting ends when they leave the house.

02

Keep sports (and achievement) in their proper place.

Make sure your kids know that winning is fourth, fifth, sixth down the list of what matters — and tell them "I love to watch you play" regardless of the outcome.

03

Don't wait for the invite.

Whether coaching or at work, leaders step out and say "I want to help, how can I help?" instead of sitting on the sidelines. Anticipate needs and just do it.

04

The power of "I'm sorry."

Acknowledging your weaknesses, raised voice, or broken commitments to your kids builds trust. It's hard because of ego, but the fruit makes it easier over time.

05

Parent each child as their own person.

Know your kids individually and parent to who they are — the timid one, the confident one, the wild one each need something different. Blanket parenting doesn't work.

06

Intentional words plus intentional listening brings emotional wealth and health.

Ask leading questions, then actually let them answer instead of jumping in with your own take.

Win lose, draw, fail, awesome game. I just love to watch you play.
— Payton Junkin

Put It Into Practice

Before your kid gets out of the car after any game or activity, look them in the eyes and tell them "I love to watch you play" — regardless of the result.

This week, when you're tempted to ask a struggling friend "what do you need?", skip the question and just show up with the snacks (or help) instead.

Practice saying "I'm sorry" to your kids the next time you raise your voice or break a commitment — name the specific thing you did.

Identify what each of your kids individually needs (affirmation, a hug, boldness, accountability) and tailor how you parent each one this week.

Start a running note on your phone of leading questions ("Why do you feel that way?") and use a few at the dinner table — then stay quiet and let them answer.

One Email a Week. Worth Your Time.

Practical skills, real stories, and one thing to actually do this week with your family. Written by a dad in the trenches, not a marketing department.

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