Episode 002 · Fatherhood

Homemade Spears & Listening Ears

Guest: Justin MeekerThe SkilledDad Podcast

About This Episode

Zach sits down in the treehouse studio with his friend Justin Meeker, a dad of three (two boys, one girl) and former church leader turned nonprofit COO, to talk about what it actually means to be "emotionally available" to your kids. Justin grew up with loving but emotionally unavailable parents, and made a deliberate choice to break that pattern with his own children — showing up in the hard, tearful, three-in-the-morning moments instead of telling them to suck it up. The conversation gets honest fast: both dads admit they fail at this regularly (Zach laughed when his six-year-old fell in the lake, and the boy remembered it), and that the real skill is learning to name feelings, ask for forgiveness, and keep showing up anyway. If you're a dad who thinks feelings are "fufu stuff," this episode makes the practical case that emotional presence is a learnable skill that shapes who your kids become — and who your daughter eventually marries.

What You'll Take Away

01

If you're not the person your kid comes to with hard things, someone or something else will be — and right now that's usually a screen.

Being available is how you keep control of your parenting.

02

Emotional availability is a skill, not a personality trait.

It means stepping into hard conversations without judging, shrinking, or dismissing what your kid feels — and you have to relearn it constantly.

03

Give kids the vocabulary for their emotions.

When you help a child name anger, sadness, or hurt, you create a safe place and they think "Dad gets me."

04

You will screw up — the move that matters is owning it.

Look your kid in the eye and ask "Will you forgive me?" not just "I'm sorry." That models how to seek and give forgiveness.

05

Don't let your past failures derail the choices you get to make going forward.

You can draw a line in the sand today, regardless of years of bad patterns.

06

You can't be emotionally available to your kids if you're not emotionally available to anyone — every dad needs two or three other men who ask the hard questions.

if it's not us as dads, it's going to be someone else. Somebody will be there. So you can have control of your parenting style unless you abdicate them.
— Zach

Put It Into Practice

Tonight, when you tuck a child in, ask one open question ("What's going on, buddy?") and then just stay and listen instead of fixing or rushing it.

Next time your kid is upset, help them name the emotion out loud — "Are you angry? Sad?" — and give them the word instead of expecting them to find it alone.

The next time you blow it with your kid, go back and say specifically: "I was wrong when I did this. Will you forgive me?" — then give them space to answer.

Find two or three other men who will ask you the hard questions (what you're hiding, where you're failing, where you're growing) and commit to a regular check-in.

Read "The Voice of the Heart" by Chip Dodd to learn the core emotions and where they come from.

One Email a Week. Worth Your Time.

Practical skills, real stories, and one thing to actually do this week with your family. Written by a dad in the trenches, not a marketing department.

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