Episode 033 · Health

One Stinking Push-Up: Jeff Spitzer on Single-Dad Years, Blended Families, and Taking Care of You First

Guest: Jeff SpitzerThe SkilledDad Podcast

About This Episode

Zach sits down with Jeff Spitzer — health coach, father of five (two of his own plus three bonus kids), 53 years old and several chapters ahead of most of the audience. Jeff's story covers a lot of the map: a 19-year-old headed the wrong direction with drugs and party friends until his girlfriend's pregnancy test changed everything; the night he came home high, looked at his newborn son in the bassinet, and quit cold turkey the next day; seven years picking up garbage to support his family; ten years as a single dad with primary custody, taking night classes while keeping his kids in the same school district for stability. Then round two: meeting Liz in 2007 and stepping in as bonus dad to a 3, 5, and 7-year-old — deliberately never trying to replace their dad, just filling the gaps, including the male-energy roughhousing her son badly needed. The back half pivots to Jeff's health coaching for busy parents: the oxygen-mask principle, escaping the victim mindset (thoughts lead to feelings, feelings to actions, actions to results), the one-day time audit that proves you have more time than you think, and why the diet — not the gym — is where change starts. The prescription is deliberately tiny: one push-up while the coffee brews, one fewer soda this week, a glass of water first thing in the morning. Small wins build momentum, and your kids are watching either way.

What You'll Take Away

01

Becoming a dad can save you — if you let it.

Jeff's turning point wasn't the pregnancy test; it was the overwhelming guilt of standing over his son's bassinet after coming home high. He quit cold turkey and took a garbage route for seven years because his family needed a man who showed up.

02

Bonus dad means fill the gaps, don't replace the father.

Jeff never tried to take the dad's place — even when the dad lived out of state. He became the additional father figure, and the kids got two men with different skill sets (Zach's own bonus-dad experience says the same).

03

Boys need male energy.

Jeff wrestled and teased his stepson when his wife thought he was being too rough. Years later she admitted he was right — the boy needed someone to roll around in the dirt and challenge him, not babying.

04

Adapt the parenting as they grow, or lose the relationship.

Authority when they're small, collaboration in the teens, friendship with respect as adults. Jeff's take: the parent's job is to keep the kids on the rails — they'll become who they're going to become. Parents who never adapt end up with harder adult relationships.

05

Oxygen mask first: take care of you, because your kids deserve it.

Parents pour everything into their family and forget themselves — then their physical, mental, and emotional health erodes. Wanting energy to wrestle teenagers later means training for it now.

06

Run the time audit before you claim you have no time.

One day, 10-15 minute increments, plus your phone's screen-time report. Nobody Jeff has coached needed more than two days to find the pockets. Budget your time like your money.

Actually becoming a dad might have saved me in some respects.
— Jeff Spitzer

Put It Into Practice

Run a one-day time audit: record what you're doing in 10-15 minute increments from wake-up to lights-out, then pull your phone's screen-time report. No judging — just observe, then look for the pockets.

Do one push-up (or five jumping jacks, or standing squats) while the coffee brews tomorrow morning. Add one rep the next day.

Cut one thing from the diet this week: one soda, or one fast-food run. Baby steps, not wholesale change.

Drink a glass of water first thing when you wake up, and work toward half your body weight in ounces per day.

If you see another dad doing a great job — at the airport, the park, anywhere — tell him. It costs nothing and it lands.

One Email a Week. Worth Your Time.

Practical skills, real stories, and one thing to actually do this week with your family. Written by a dad in the trenches, not a marketing department.

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