Zach sits down with Trey Sheneman — a CMO, self-described "mad genius" wordsmith, and former colleague from their pandemic-era travel-industry trenches — for an episode Zach almost didn't release because of audio problems, then shipped anyway because the conversation couldn't be replicated. Trey is a third-generation namesake who grew up between two very different models of manhood: a serial-entrepreneur grandfather who fathered with an iron hand, and a dad who carried that baggage into their relationship while giving it his best shot. Trey's own fatherhood got no rehearsal: his son Bear, now almost twelve, spent his first week in the NICU and has navigated the autism spectrum, speech and hearing disabilities, and stimming — all while Trey and his wife weathered lost jobs, food stamps, and near-bankruptcy before a career pivot into digital marketing became first a lifeline, then a rocket ship. The tension of the episode is that success: Trey admits he's "prone to produce," that his wife once felt like a single mom because his coping mechanism was more work, and that he left a 60-hour office job specifically to eat lunch with Bear a couple times a week. The two dig into a question most driven dads dodge — why do we run OKRs, vision boards, and leadership frameworks at work and wing it at home? — and land on Trey's line worth the price of admission: making sure your kids see your hands as something helpful, not something painful, and knowing that as they grow, the weight shifts from your hands to your words to your tone. It closes with a freestyle dad rap and a charge: your kids need you now more than ever, and if you mess up, forgiveness is a powerful antidote.
Trey rewrote his LinkedIn headline to "husband, dad, CMO" — he used to lead with the professional titles. It's a small public act with a real internal effect: deciding which roles define you before the market decides for you.
Every father is a product of his own experience, and no single man has lived your exact situation — Trey learned this as a special-needs dad with nobody in his circle who'd "been there, done that." Respect your father's opinion, then deliberately gather other inputs: other dads your age, older men, coaches, therapists — and filter it all through what's best for your family.
Trey's coping mechanism for the hard years was working more — justified as providing — to the point his wife felt like a single mom, and the habit outlived the need. Now working from a home office, the switch never flips off: Slack, texts, and five time zones of team members. Naming "I'm prone to produce" is the first boundary.
"Eight might be too late" pushed Trey into the birds-and-bees conversation the morning Bear brought it up — because once a milestone passes, you don't get it back. It's also why he changed jobs: two and a half awake hours a day with your kids doesn't cash the checks a 60-hour office week writes.
Zach runs personal OKRs on presence; Trey's wife built a family vision board on a science-fair trifold; Maxwell's five levels of leadership map straight onto fatherhood — most men become fathers positionally ("somebody had a baby") and never earn the higher levels at home. If you'd never wing a quarter at work, don't wing eighteen years at home.
Trey's deepest struggle: making sure his kids see his hands as something helpful instead of something painful — and recognizing that as kids age, that battle migrates to your words and especially how you say them. Your kids are the greatest mirror in your life after your spouse, and when the mirror shows you something ugly, ask their forgiveness.
I just recently updated my headline to say husband, dad, CMO. I used to lead with the other titles first.
Rewrite your bio headline — LinkedIn, email signature, wherever — to lead with husband and dad before your job title. Do it today; it takes two minutes and it's public.
List your "dad bucket" inputs. If your own father is the only one, recruit two more this month: a dad ahead of you, a peer in your situation, or a professional if the situation calls for one.
Set one fatherhood OKR: a real objective (e.g., present when home) with one measurable weekly key result (e.g., a genuine check-in with your wife before walking in the door).
Ask your wife the single-mom question — "does my work schedule ever leave you parenting alone?" — and don't defend the answer, just write it down.
The next time your tone lands wrong on a kid, ask their forgiveness the same day. Out loud, by name.
Practical skills, real stories, and one thing to actually do this week with your family. Written by a dad in the trenches, not a marketing department.
Bryan Graf takes the host chair to interview Max Wimmer — his longtime friend and mentor, a dad of four daught…
Zach sits down with Matt Karam, a lifelong martial arts instructor from Phoenix who, with his wife, has taught…
Zach sits down with Bryan Graf — the guy he met at a Nashville-area coffee shop three-plus years ago by walkin…